I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize