I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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