I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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