I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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