May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
