i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's blow job season.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
