I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
