I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
