I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
