Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ttyl tear gas
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
