My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize