And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
