and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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