every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
where are my eyebrows?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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