I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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