its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
