I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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