This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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