five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
