Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
