u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
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I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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