And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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