All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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