How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
