idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
