so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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