HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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