found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
