but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize