plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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