i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can text with my tongue
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
