so explain again why im purple
no
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
