so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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