I just saw a hot homeless man
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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