Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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