KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
