my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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