Did you just see the Batmobile???
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
