Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
