i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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