OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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