You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you didnt know i had herpes?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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