I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
