Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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