he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...