I'm drive I can fine osifer
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.