nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"