He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.