my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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