I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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