Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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