i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
