My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
