Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
