She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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