Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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