no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
