Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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