If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
