In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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