: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
