Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
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It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
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BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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