fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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