Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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