he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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