are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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